My Life as a Mom

So I had a dear friend point out to me that I apple season is upon us.  I told her that I didn't feel like doing anything with the apples on my tree this year because they are small and by the time you peel and core them, there is basically nothing left.Her eyes began to sparkle and she told me she had a better way... So I got to work and picked all the apples that I could reach off our tree, with a little bit of help...  I was quite pleased with the haul that I got.  I washed the apples, cut them in half and boiled them, seeds and all. Then put them in this nifty strainer thing that my dear friend borrowed from her mother in law (inlaws can be so handy sometimes) and mashed them through to create apple sauce!! I'm thrilled! It was really quick and  really easy. I added cinamon (and a little sugar cause my apples aren't super sweet) to the mashed apples, boiled them, put them in jars and processed them. Fast, easy, great smelling and yummy!! Now I'm listening

I just love the way that my boys love each other. They really are best friends. David wants Zac to be happy and feels bad if he gets left out of anything. Zac thinks that David is the greatest person alive (after his mommy of course!) I'm so glad that I thought to grab my camera when I saw the two of them snuggled up on the couch together. Just quietly playing with a couple toys, but mostly enjoying the sunlight and each other. I decided that it was time to me to set a better schedule for myself. I've been finding that my mornings and my evenings are really good, but my afternoons are difficult. I feel unsure of what to do with myself and my boys seem to get cranky and then I feel unproductive and sad. It's a bitter cycle, and I decided it was time that I ended it. So I wrote down a plan for a new routine and I've been trying it for the last couple of days. I absolutely LOVE it. It works for me. I have designated time for each child, for cleaning, for crafting

When everything else is stripped away, when all our obsessions are gone and our lives come in to focus, what is it that matters? What is it that makes me get out of bed in the morning? Why do I get on my knees and pray? At the end of the day, it's for this: And this: Because I want a whole lot more of this:   At the end of the day, I want my children's happiness. I want them to have the best possible life that they can have. I want them to be happy and feel free to do what they want to do. I want to see them smile, because when they are smiling, my life feels complete. My efforts seem valid. Everything makes sense and all the trouble is worth it.   I love being a mom. It's the one thing that I always dreamed of. It makes everything else, less important.

My how life changes. This summer has been an interesting one. Full of twists and turns and changes. I don't know that I'm brave enough to really talk about all of them yet, but I will say that it has led me to a lot of self discovery. I have found myself questioning every decision and wondering about everything. Because of what I have been through this summer though, I have learned some improtant things. I have learned what is really important to me, what I REALLY want out of life. I have learned who my real friends are, and that I truly can count on them. I have gained more respect for my mom than I ever thought was possible. I have learned that life is HARD. So very hard, and there are no easy passes, no get out of jail free cards. Life is just hard and how we handle those challenges, makes us who we are. I have learned that beyond a shadow of a doubt, I am where I am for a reason. God put me in this family, with these people, for a purpose. My upbringing was not