Okay, so until recently, I really didn't want to admit it, even to myself, but I really didn't want to have boys. I mean not that I NEVER wanted boys, but with both David and Zachary, I so badly wanted them to be girls. (That's part of why I don't want to be done-I want girls!) But really, when it all comes down to it, I love my boys and I wouldn't trade them for girls for a second. Both of my little boys are absolute miracles to me. I'm so excited that I could have them and I just love their guts! There was a point in my life where I really thought that I would never be able to have a baby. These little boys have answered hundreds of my heartfelt prayers and I love everything about them. It is amazing to me to watch them grow and think that they really are a gift that God gave to me. They grew from my body and I have loved them since way before their births. I love how Daivd calls me Momma, but only when he's tired and really wants something. I love how there is no other person in the world that means as much to him as me. I love that he wants me to sing him a song every night and how sad he gets if I don't think I have the time (then I always make the time). I love how he is learning to be a bit of a brat (I know, it sounds weird, but he's just so dang cute about it!). When he's really sad and doesn't want to go to sleep at night, he wants to wear my hoodie to bed, and usually that calms him down and he can sleep. I love that he is learning to play with his brothers and sisters and is becoming a real friend to them. He is an AMAZING big brother. He calls Zac "Jackary or Jac" and reads stories to him and sings him songs, can't stop kissing him and holding his hand. When Zac is upset and I'm busy, David will come over and sing to him or try to make him smile. He plays on the floor beside Zac so that Zac can see him and feel included. There is so much I love about this little BOY of mine, that I could go on forever. But mostly I love that he is a child of God and God sent him to ME so that I can watch over him and keep him safe. I can be his protector and his confidant. I am his mother, and he is my son, and that is a bond that will never be broken.
Zachary is so new in my life, but already there are so many wonderful things about him as well. He is a really good baby and I can see his spirit shining through him all the time. I love that when he smiles his whole face lights up. When he looks at me, it feels like he is looking at my soul, like he knows more about me than I do, and he probably does. I love that sometimes when he sees me he stops what he's doing and smiles at me, and he doesn't stop until I notice and smile back (he's probably a bit of a flirt!). I love that this little boy needs ME. No one else can fill the role in his life that I fill. I am his everything for now, and only for a short while longer. So while I have the opportunity, I'm going to do all that I can to enjoy every smile, every giggle, every look and every coo, because all too soon, they will be gone.
So yes, I still desperately want to have girls, but these little boys of mine have found places in my heart that no girl could fill. I love being a mom (and a "Momma"), and I love all of my kids. I'm so thankful to Heavenly Father for trusting me with these five beautiful spirits, and I hope that I can return them to him full of his light and knowledge and on the path that he would have them on.
Okay, so until recently, I really didn't want to admit it, even to myself, but I really didn't want to have boys. I mean not that I NEVER wanted boys, but with both David and Zachary, I so badly wanted them to be girls. (That's part of why I don't want to be done-I want girls!) But really, when it all comes down to it, I love my boys and I wouldn't trade them for girls for a second. Both of my little boys are absolute miracles to me. I'm so excited that I could have them and I just love their guts! There was a point in my life where I really thought that I would never be able to have a baby. These little boys have answered hundreds of my heartfelt prayers and I love everything about them. It is amazing to me to watch them grow and think that they really are a gift that God gave to me. They grew from my body and I have loved them since way before their births. I love how Daivd calls me Momma, but only when he's tired and really wants something. I love how there is no other person in the world that means as much to him as me. I love that he wants me to sing him a song every night and how sad he gets if I don't think I have the time (then I always make the time). I love how he is learning to be a bit of a brat (I know, it sounds weird, but he's just so dang cute about it!). When he's really sad and doesn't want to go to sleep at night, he wants to wear my hoodie to bed, and usually that calms him down and he can sleep. I love that he is learning to play with his brothers and sisters and is becoming a real friend to them. He is an AMAZING big brother. He calls Zac "Jackary or Jac" and reads stories to him and sings him songs, can't stop kissing him and holding his hand. When Zac is upset and I'm busy, David will come over and sing to him or try to make him smile. He plays on the floor beside Zac so that Zac can see him and feel included. There is so much I love about this little BOY of mine, that I could go on forever. But mostly I love that he is a child of God and God sent him to ME so that I can watch over him and keep him safe. I can be his protector and his confidant. I am his mother, and he is my son, and that is a bond that will never be broken.
Zachary is so new in my life, but already there are so many wonderful things about him as well. He is a really good baby and I can see his spirit shining through him all the time. I love that when he smiles his whole face lights up. When he looks at me, it feels like he is looking at my soul, like he knows more about me than I do, and he probably does. I love that sometimes when he sees me he stops what he's doing and smiles at me, and he doesn't stop until I notice and smile back (he's probably a bit of a flirt!). I love that this little boy needs ME. No one else can fill the role in his life that I fill. I am his everything for now, and only for a short while longer. So while I have the opportunity, I'm going to do all that I can to enjoy every smile, every giggle, every look and every coo, because all too soon, they will be gone.
I know exactly how you feel! Its sad when our babies grow up but also a little exciting to see thier little personalities show thru.... And to see the little people they grow up to be :) great post
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