Running
So, I've been stalling on writing this post because I wanted to take a picture to go with it. But seriously, at 6 in the morning, the last thing I'm thinking about is, "Did I grab my camera?" So the picture has not yet happened, and I doubt it will happen anytime soon.
I've been running in the mornings for several weeks now. I get up at 6:15 and run at 6:30. I think I might be crazy.
I'M NOT A RUNNER
When my friend was telling me about her new found love for running, I said "oh that's cool" to be polite. Then I heard myself saying "I've always wanted to do that".
Which is kinda true. I've always thought it would be neat to be one of those people that goes for a run to clear their head. Or just can't start the day without a "quick run around the block" which really means I'm going to go run a few miles. But when I say I think it would be neat, I mean it in the same way that it would be neat to be a professional singer or star in a movie. Sure, it would be neat, but it's never going to happen, and I'm not really taking any steps to TRY to make it happen.
So then she started telling me about how her group runs for one minute then walks for one minute, and it's really a gradual build up, and I could totally do it. It would be awesome. So when she says to me, "So you should come over tomorrow morning and we can run!" and once again with no self control or any part of my self speaking, I hear myself saying, "sure that would be great!"
Who is controlling me???
So, somehow, even with being up three times to feed a baby in the middle of the night, I made it to her house at 6:30am. She smiled her big 'I'm a runner and it's great to be up in the morning' smile, and said "Ready?" I gave her my best 'I'm trying to be awake' look, and said, "no, let's go."
So the first morning, I BARELY made it through. I'm not kidding. We had to walk for three minutes after about the third round because I was SURE that I was going to throw up! Sad, right? I told you, I'M NOT A RUNNER! I finally did manage to make it through, my lungs were burning, my legs were completely jello, and I DID NOT feel that 'runner's high' that everyone talks about.
But my weight has finally become a big motivator for me, I know-it should have been years ago, so when my friend said, "See you tomorrow.", I replied "Yep", and this time it was me, and I did mean it.
So I've made it through a few weeks now, and we have increased the amount of running time a few times now. I'm now running for three minutes and walking for one, we will be increasing on Thursday I believe, and I'm ready for it.
I still don't feel the "runner's high". My legs still feel like jello after every run, and several times throughout I really do feel like I can't take another step, but every morning I make it through. We take it really slow, and my fellow runners are really positive motivators. I even look forward to my run some mornings. Not that I'm actually excited to be running, but I'm excited to be making a change. I like that I am taking control of something in my life that I have the power to change. So often I find myself powerless to change a situation. My only option is to handle it as best as I can. To react. This time I am choosing something. I can continue to feel ugly and unhealthy, watching myself deteriorate as I've been doing for the past several years, or I can make some real changes to deal with the problems.
It's not easy. And I still don't love running, I am getting use to it, but I don't love it. I definitely don't love getting out of bed that early, when my baby has had a bad night and is just finally sleeping.
But I'm doing it.
I get out of bed. I brush snow off my car (A new, not so pleasant addition to the morning routine). I smile, and then I run. And I'm doing it. I'm getting better and stronger all the time. And that's exactly what I wanted to get out of this. I wanted to strengthen my lungs and improve the shape of my body (good way of saying it, eh?) I'm happy with this decision. I like that I'm doing something.
Making a choice.
Making a change.
And it feels good.
I've been running in the mornings for several weeks now. I get up at 6:15 and run at 6:30. I think I might be crazy.
I'M NOT A RUNNER
When my friend was telling me about her new found love for running, I said "oh that's cool" to be polite. Then I heard myself saying "I've always wanted to do that".
Which is kinda true. I've always thought it would be neat to be one of those people that goes for a run to clear their head. Or just can't start the day without a "quick run around the block" which really means I'm going to go run a few miles. But when I say I think it would be neat, I mean it in the same way that it would be neat to be a professional singer or star in a movie. Sure, it would be neat, but it's never going to happen, and I'm not really taking any steps to TRY to make it happen.
So then she started telling me about how her group runs for one minute then walks for one minute, and it's really a gradual build up, and I could totally do it. It would be awesome. So when she says to me, "So you should come over tomorrow morning and we can run!" and once again with no self control or any part of my self speaking, I hear myself saying, "sure that would be great!"
Who is controlling me???
So, somehow, even with being up three times to feed a baby in the middle of the night, I made it to her house at 6:30am. She smiled her big 'I'm a runner and it's great to be up in the morning' smile, and said "Ready?" I gave her my best 'I'm trying to be awake' look, and said, "no, let's go."
So the first morning, I BARELY made it through. I'm not kidding. We had to walk for three minutes after about the third round because I was SURE that I was going to throw up! Sad, right? I told you, I'M NOT A RUNNER! I finally did manage to make it through, my lungs were burning, my legs were completely jello, and I DID NOT feel that 'runner's high' that everyone talks about.
But my weight has finally become a big motivator for me, I know-it should have been years ago, so when my friend said, "See you tomorrow.", I replied "Yep", and this time it was me, and I did mean it.
So I've made it through a few weeks now, and we have increased the amount of running time a few times now. I'm now running for three minutes and walking for one, we will be increasing on Thursday I believe, and I'm ready for it.
I still don't feel the "runner's high". My legs still feel like jello after every run, and several times throughout I really do feel like I can't take another step, but every morning I make it through. We take it really slow, and my fellow runners are really positive motivators. I even look forward to my run some mornings. Not that I'm actually excited to be running, but I'm excited to be making a change. I like that I am taking control of something in my life that I have the power to change. So often I find myself powerless to change a situation. My only option is to handle it as best as I can. To react. This time I am choosing something. I can continue to feel ugly and unhealthy, watching myself deteriorate as I've been doing for the past several years, or I can make some real changes to deal with the problems.
It's not easy. And I still don't love running, I am getting use to it, but I don't love it. I definitely don't love getting out of bed that early, when my baby has had a bad night and is just finally sleeping.
But I'm doing it.
I get out of bed. I brush snow off my car (A new, not so pleasant addition to the morning routine). I smile, and then I run. And I'm doing it. I'm getting better and stronger all the time. And that's exactly what I wanted to get out of this. I wanted to strengthen my lungs and improve the shape of my body (good way of saying it, eh?) I'm happy with this decision. I like that I'm doing something.
Making a choice.
Making a change.
And it feels good.
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